Set the World on Fire

Linking up with Charlotte and Ginger who every week host Spiritual Sunday

"Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire." St. Catherine of Siena   

I want to live my best life......and I've figured out....to do that.....is to give back what's been given to me......and I've been given so much. When I give back.....I feel alive and really happy.

I was asked to run a group for women....to share my story....and give them hope to see that nothing is impossible to overcome. I loved it. And mostly....they loved it.  I've agreed to do it again for the next two weeks. And I'm speaking again....on July 6th. It's getting easier. Mostly because the response has been overwhelming. 

I can see now that everything I went through...all those things I hated....those things I didn't want anyone to know...has given me an edge.....something that shows hope to others fighting their demons....their battles....who are living on the edge......And it's all because of Him....His grace....His gentle touch.....I want to live my best life. I want to set the world on fire...to see Him...to show that nothing is impossible to overcome...


How Long O Lord.....will you forget me?

Spiritual Sunday "Never Meant to Walk Alone"

Thanks Charlotte and Ginger for hosting these great Spiritual Sunday

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not."  Dr. Seuss

Thanks Guys...thanks for your comments last Sunday and on thursday. Thanks for being in my corner....and for believing in me.  Your words gave me courage to not give in to fear....to stand up and speak my truth. 

I was super nervous.....but I stayed....and pushed through the fear and spoke my truth. The response was amazing. They said it was powerful...that I'm a speaker...that they're glad I joined with them and they want to help me.  I felt totally wiped after....but something in me knows....He's preparing me..training me to not be afraid...to stand up....to shine His Light...the Light that lit up the darkness that I lived in. Nothing else could penetrate it. Nothing else could break through....only Him. He made the difference.   I know I need to tell...to give hope...to show nothing is impossible to overcome. And besides.....I owe Him....

March 30th 9:30-noon I'll be speaking to 75 women. I just got an email confirming that. 

Thanks Guys...thanks again for being in my corner.

We were never meant to walk this road alone...you carry me.....and I will carry you....be your strength...pull you through...

Thankful Thursday

Linking up with Dayle at her awesome Simple Pleasures

"Gratitude creates the most wonderful feeling."  Gordon B. Hinckley

 

Saying thank-you keeps me focused. It reminds me where I was....where I am now.....how much I've been given. It helps me remember the important things....the things that count...those little things that make my heart swell with contentment....things like:

-the snow melting...and the temps rising. They're promising double digits by Friday.  I dream of being back in the hills......

-play-fighting with my ten yr. old. She's like the energizer rabbit....she never gives up....but neither do I. It's a great workout physically and laughing with her is the best. 

-In school....my 14 yr. old is learning how to defend herself if she's ever attacked. I'm thrilled. I think it should be mandatory for all girls. She's my tree-hugger....gentle wouldn't hurt a fly kid....it's funny how she's loving this. And I'm loving that she's learning some street smarts the safe way.

-connections with some amazing people who survived some tough stuff and are now working to make a difference. I've linked up with some of them and although what we survived is different....the fight has been simliar..... 

-the best thing...knowing He's always with me....gives me hope, courage and peace.....knowing He's running with me....always there...in my corner makes all the difference....in the good times....and the not so good times....

Spiritual Sunday "Love"

Thanks Charlotte and Ginger for always being here hosting these great Spiritual Sunday

"You can't touch love, but you can feel the sweetness that it
      pours into everything." Annie Sullivan

When someone told me they loved me...I didn't know what they meant. I couldn't feel what they were saying. And I didn't know how to respond. 

But when He showed me love....somehow His love cut through when nothing else could. I felt it. And I couldn't help but be drawn by it.

Love reached so far down into darkness.....and then waited.  No matter what I did...how much I fought against it.....or tried to push it away.....Love stayed....and made a difference.  

Happy Valentines guys!  

You surround me...the whisper calling my name...Love eternal reaching to me

Spiritual Sunday "In Love"

 Thanks Charlotte and Ginger for always hosting these awesome Spiritual Sundays 

"No hatred. Your love in me is stronger than the hatred" Corrie Ten Boom 

I used to hate those people who hurt me.....who forced me to do what I didn't want. I lived, breathed and ran on hate. And I didn't only hate them....I hated me too. That hatred kept me a prisoner....it kept me living in the dark....on the edge.....in pain. It colored my world black. 

 

Then one day....He touched me....cut through the darkness with love that  refused to give up....love that stood strong....even when I resisted and tried to push it away. 

Love made the difference....love that hung on...that never pushed...never forced...never demanded anything. He waited until I was ready....never leaving...never giving up.  Slowly...bit by bit.....He pushed away the darkness... replaced the hatred with love and forgiveness.  The power of His love...... 

Humbled and amazed that You would call my name...to know you as my closest friend....

Spiritual Sunday "In the Presence"

Charlotte and Ginger host Spiritual Sundays. They're awesome. If you want to join in  post and add your name at Spiritual Sunday

"You can have the other words-chance, luck, coincidence, serendipity. I'll take grace. I don't know what it is exactly, but I'll take it. " Mary Oliver 

While I was writing my book, In the Eye of Deception....there were times I wanted to get in my car...close my eyes...and drive. It hurt so much to remember. At one point I wanted to find the rapist's family...to know who raised such a brutal man.  I googled their last name and found these singers with the same name.  And this particular song "happened" to come up.  I had never heard of them or the song. Although it's not usually my type of music.....I was pulled into listening to it over and over and over. The words held me. 

I started running in the hills near our house....in the heat...in the rain...all hours of the day and late into the evenings...trying to outrun the memories and pain. I wanted to know why He allowed it to happen. Why He didn't help me earlier...before things had gotten so bad.

The more I listened to the song...the more I spent time alone with Him in the hills....something started to happen. The words slipped into my heart and I slowly I began to realize....it wasn't His fault what happened. And in His presence...it didn't even matter anymore. In His presence.....the pain began to lift...and also the shame....and fear. In His presence..I finally found what I needed ever since it happened...peace...hope...freedom.

...and when I come into His presence....all my questions become clear....In the presence of Jehovah....

Spiritual Sunday "Masterpiece"

Charlotte and Ginger host these awesome Spiritual Sundays

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.  ~St. Augustine

You know what's so cool? That somehow...and I'm not sure how....but He's changing and shaping me to be different than I've been. He's taking all those broken pieces....and messes and no matter what happened....what I lived...what I learned...His gentle touch is changing everything...and making it into something good. Somehow He's smoothing out the rough edges....taking out the shame.....scraping off the fears. He's replacing all the despair with joy.....the hopelessness with purpose and the fear with love. I see it now...how each one of us is His masterpiece. 

Pick me up like a paintbrush God....Dip it in the colors of my life. Paint your picture.....

Spiritual Sunday "Taking my Candle"

 Spiritual Sundays are hosted by Charlotte and Ginger. To join in post and add your name at bloggerspirit and Natasha

"As we are liberated....our presence automatically liberates others." MaryAnne Williamson

When I started blogging....I did it for me. I did it to get the memories out...to find some sense in everything that happened. But now...I realize it's not about me anymore. A 13 yr. old emailed me. Told me she found my blog....reads it every night to give herself hope. Her story is heartbreaking. All she wants is a family who will love her....care for her the way families are supposed to.

I never want to take for granted what He did. I didn't have the strength to break free. He did what I couldn't. What nothing could. He took over my fight... brought me into the winners circle. He did it. Now I want to go back to the darkness....and shine His light for others to find freedom too.

Please pray for O. ...for a miracle....for her to have that family. 

I want to take my candle....and go light the world.

Charlotte and Ginger host these amazing Spiritual Sundays. To join...post and add your name at  Spiritual Sunday.  

   "We're going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us." Beth Moore

What makes a butterfly come out of it's cocoon? 
What makes someone break free from an addiction? 
There was a time I had no hope.  
There was a time.....I shook my fist in the air....at God and dared Him to kill me already. 
There was a time....I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again... 

I don't  know how I knew to cry out for Him to help me. It was a  weak cry....a pathetic one.....but still......He heard....and in His kindness.....He pulled me up.....and in  His love draw me in.  I had tried everything I knew. Nothing worked. I finally figured out.....there was nothing in me that was able to help myself break free. I ended up doing the only thing left....

I lifted my eyes to the Maker of the mountains I couldn't climb
I lifted my eyes to the Calmer of the oceans raging wild
I lifted my eyes to the Healer of the hurt I held inside 

Spiritual Sunday "Hope"

Chalotte and Ginger host these great Spiritual Sundays. To join in just post and add your name at  http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

"When you say a situation or person is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God."  Charles L. Allan 

In April 2008, something happened....triggering memories I had fought hard to forget....

I started writing.....needing to get those memories out. I wrote in the third person.....in the dark...sometimes all night.....and most of the day.  I forgot to eat....even forgot to feed the kids. I struggled with why God would let me remember when I wanted so much to forget. I ran in the hills near our home....in the rain...in the heat.....everyday......desperate to outrun the pain.. There I heard His gentle whisper....'you're stronger now.....it's time to tell.' 

More than 400 copies have sold.....it won a national book award and was one of three books that recieved an honorable mention to The Word Guild's highest award. It's in nine bookstores in the province where I live and available in five hospital libraries.  I've recieved tons of gifts, dolls, jewelry, cd's, books, notes, emails.....people telling me....my story....my words....inspired them....gave them hope....

Janet

Wow. What an awesome book! I read it in two days. I"m not a reader so for me to read it that fast it has to be good. I was reading at work on nights and I had to get up and go to another room at one point, tears were falling down my face...your book has helped me to open up and gave me so much hope! It has made a difference in my outlook on my situation. 

Lisa

I got your book yesterday afternoon...I read late into the night and this afternoon....yours is such a beautifully written book, one that resonates with me on so many levels. I loved the descriptions, felt like I was right beside you, experiencing every situation with you. At times it was hard to breathe. Other times, I was moved to tears. Many times I was frightened for your safety, touched by your endless bravery. And then I was inspired.....I found the detail of the coaching advice affirming the very processes I am currently working on in order to change my own negative belief systems. I don't believe in co-incidence, your book came to me as a message of hope.  

Wanda

.....as I read your book...hidden wounds over my own wounded past began to surface and I KNEW that I would have to deal with them. I had come such a long way (I thought). I had written books about the healing of a soul....but reading through the section covering the time with your counselor, I felt I was there and she was gently leading 'ME' out of a dark hole into the light. Your book will touch many lives....I know...it has turned my world upside down. 

 
I had kept the secrets......choosing to live with the crippling shame and fear rather than to tell.....worried what others would think.  But I learned  - He redeems everything....and uses our worst experiences to bring hope....

My daughter fiddled around and made a short video trailer for my book. It's her first attempt. Funny thing.....I won't let her read my book until she's 18. She's only 14. 

Words from a Friend- "Flashback"

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

Her name, Doloros Ayotte. I met her online. Like me...she's a writer. I've been following her blog and getting to know her. Even through cyberspace...I can pick up on her kindness and gentleness. This post is written by her.  

"Flashback"

Over thirty years ago, as I was standing before my second grade class, I felt that my life was falling apart. Happily married with three young daughters, I suddenly felt this unbelievable sense of dread and despair. After days and weeks, this feeling would not lift. It evolved into a deep depression that I could not escape and I sought out medical advice. Medication seemed to be the answer, but it backfired on me. Rather than referring me to a specialist, my doctor chose to continue increasing the dosage of the anti-depressant that he had initially prescribed.

I went from being depressed into a manic state which I later discovered could be a side effect of the prescribed drug. The out of control “euphoria” was more than I could handle. Unable to sleep, I thought I was having the most incredible spiritual experience.

I would flip back and forth between despair and mania. It was I this time; I chose to seek out spiritual advice. After years of being a staunch Roman Catholic, I was shunned by a priest who had known me almost all my life. He told me in no uncertain terms that “I’d better reconcile myself to God”. In my state, he might as well have told me to jump off a bridge. 

In my youth and in my innocence, it never entered my mind that I was having an adverse reaction to my medication. I trusted my doctor. If this makes any sense, I thought of suicide but I was not suicidal. I got on my hands and knees and prayed like I had never prayed before in my whole life. I sought out the peace and comfort of a loving and forgiving God. At the depths of my despair, I found a renewed faith in a merciful God. I revisited my childhood education and I questioned some of the teachings. In doing so, I was able to face the reasons for my serious depression. I thought I was being punished but I wasn’t sure why. With time, I was able to work through the guilt that I was feeling and I learned to actually accept the unconditional love of my Creator. I never truly knew the meaning of faith until I was so filled with fear. It was then that God reached out His hand to me and saved me from the depths of despair. This is an experience I will never forget. For that, I will be forever grateful. 

To follow Dolore...http://doloresayotte.wordpress.com/
Her book is available at:Tate Publishing: http://www.tatepublishing.com/tipsheet/book.php?key=6920

Spiritual Sunday "LIght of the World"

Thank you Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiiritual Sundays. To join in, post - then add your name at  http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/


For a long time...I lived in darkness. And no matter what I did...I just kept spiraling down even further. I saw no hope....no way out. I kept falling deeper and deeper....Then one day....He touched me..pulled me out of that darkness and turned my life around.

A few days after I became a believer, I looked up at the sky, and noticed a beam of light circling the city. I later learned this light provided safety for incoming planes but as I stood there transfixed, watching it go around and around, God whispered in my heart, The Light shines in the darkness, but the darkness cannot comprehend it.  

Nothing had worked to free me.  Only Him. The Light of the World stepped down into darkness...opened my eyes....and helped me to see.

Spiritual Sunday " " ".

Thanks Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays. To join in...post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/




Sometimes when I pray....I feel like I'm hitting the ceiling...that I'm just talking to myself....nothing changes...things stay the same. I pray again.. Nothing. Silence. 

But then I remember what He's done for me....how He came through when nothing else worked. I remember His touch....His power...the miracles....and I know....I can't give up...I can't give in....no matter how dark things get...no matter how long it takes for things to turn around....

I'm not running alone anymore....even when I'm standing in the dark...I'll still believe...cause Someone's watching over me.

Spiritual Sunday "Jesus Loves You."

I love these Spiritual Sundays. Charlotte and Ginger - you guys are the best for hosting this. Want to join in? Post and add your name at  http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/


What made the difference in my life....what touched me in a way nothing else could...what finally changed  me......turned my life around....freed me from the darkness...was the touch of His amazing love. He freed me...broke the chains - reached so far down to pull me out. And even when I couldn't accept His love...He stayed....He waited until I was ready...He overlooked my wild out of control destructive behaviour. He never gave up on me....never turned away.  When I shook my fist in the air daring Him to kill me..He waited...He stayed....until I was ready. He accepted me at my worst...and loved me just because....

Thankful Thursday

Thanks to Sonya-Lee for hosting T.T. Want to participate? Post 5 things you're thankful and add your name at http://truth4thejourney.blogspot.com/


Last year when I started writing....I struggled with not wanting anyone to know the things that had happened. I believed there had to have been something wrong with me that caused those things....The reviews I've gotten have blown me away..
Today...someone who read the story pulled me aside....I'm not alone anymore...if you can do it....I can too. Others have told me my story has given them hope and they're using the tools to work towards freedom....

So this week I'm totally thankful for:


1.the courage to go through with publication
2.God using what I wrote to help people know there is hope and freedom
3.God redeeming people's broken lives and setting captives free
4.my close friend who believed in me, pushed me, and knew God was going to use what I wrote....even when I doubted or wanted to give up. I'm also thankful for her compassion to sit in the dark with me when I couldn't stand for her to even look at me.
5.forgiveness....because he forgives me....I am free to forgive those who hurt me. There is amazing relief and freedom in that...

Spiritual Sunday . "He Loves Us Just Because"

I am really thankful to Charlotte and Ginger for doing Spiritual Sundays. I love reading the posts others write and it helps me to centre myself on God. Want to join in?  Post what's on your heart, then add your name @http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com 

This past week, a friend, co-worker and a Christian took her life. I'm having a hard time understanding why. She knew God, she was active in her church....she had a good network of friends. I don't think I'll ever understand but I want more than ever to reach out and share kindness and love with those in my world....He showed me so much love and so much gentleness - I really want to make a difference.  

Thankful Thursday

I'm totally thankful for:
- living in a free country - a country in which I can voice my opinion and challenge what I don't agree with. So many around the globe don't have this privilage.
-the close bond between my teen and myself. She's a great kid. A day never goes by without her telling me how much she loves me. I learn from her and she makes me want to live my best life.
-my work - I have this awesome freedom to give people hope and to make a difference in the lives of others and I get paid for what I do. Too cool.
-for the freedom and emotional healing in my life that only God has been able to do - nothing else could. Not prison, not a psych ward, not meds, not any professional, not any rehab - only the grace of God. It blows my mind how incredible and powerful His gentleness really is.
-Being able to run, and see, and feel, and move - too many people are hurting physically.

want to participate: click on the picture.          Have a great day. Sarah