Thursday, January 29, 2015

Thankful Thursday - And Then.....

"Fear to some extent is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story." Cheryl Strayed. 

I used to tell myself all the bad things that were and could happen. I used to see only the dark and scary. I used to put myself down in every imaginable way, believing all the things about me I was told. And then......

Something happened that changed how I thought about myself and the world. Something extraordinary. Something mind blowing. 

Love happened. It happened like a shower spraying down on me.....cleansing and freeing. The weird thing is that I resisted it. I fought its warmth and soothing touch. It hurt too much at first. It left an ache that wouldn't stop. 

Love hurts when you've never known it. It tugs at the core and threatens everything familiar....all the that were. But in time I learned some things about never gives up. And it's stronger than any other force. 

Love was like the gentle wind that blew the darkness away and left me standing open and free. Love changed me. It changed how I saw myself, and how I moved in the world. Grateful for....

-the power of love that trumps everything else. 
-the power of love changed what I told myself and still tell myself. 
-the power of love helped me embrace all of who I am. No more being self-demeaning. No more listening to others over my own voice. No more allowing anyone to discourage or tear me down.
-the power of His love that showed me a better way to be....a softer more kinder way. His steady became my steady. His gentle became my gentle. For this, I am most grateful. 

Happy Thursday, Guys!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Thankful Thursday - Purpose

"I really think I'm here for a purpose. Even if it takes 100 or 1,000 years, I have to do what I was meant to do." Mattie J.T. Stepanek

I heard once, that every human being needs to know they're loved regardless of who they are, where they come from or what they've done or not done. And also, that everyone needs to know there's a reason, a purpose for their lives. I believe that is right on true.

For me, knowing I'm loved gives me courage.  And I'm energized knowing there's some purpose for my life. That purpose can be small or big or something I do every day or once a week, or once a month or even once a year. Sometimes it's touching the hearts of many. And sometimes it's touching the life of just one. Most days my purpose is mom. Other days it's reaching out and encouraging others to never give up, to live free, to hold tight to hope.  

There was a time, I didn't think I had any reason for being. But once things turned around, and I started to feel loved, I searched for my purpose and amazingly things fell into place. 

I've noticed every few years it changes. I'm at that place again.....wondering what am I here for, what I can do to make a difference. I know the everyday stuff....but I want do more....and to always live giving back for this amazing life I've been gifted. Thankful for....

-knowing I am loved b/c that knowing enables me to live free. 
-knowing I have purpose. When doors close at one thing, I know in my gut, there's something else brewing. It's just giving that thing time to come into focus. 
-Him, b/c He makes life exciting, an adventure. He always has new plans, neat things and the best, He always opens and closes all the right doors.

Happy Thursday, Guys. 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Thankful Thursday. - Beliefs

"You are amazing as you are. 
Stronger than you know. 
More beautiful than you think. 
Worthier than you believe. 
More loved than you can ever imagine. 
Passionate about making a difference.  
Be confident. Be you." 
Tia Sparkles Singh.

Beliefs are what shape us. I think they fuel how we live, what we do, how we move in the world. 

I used to believe I was a nothing, worthless, a total loser. It took a long time but I finally learned I was believing a lie. That lie felt so much like the truth. I ran on those beliefs. And almost killed myself with them. 

I've been mentoring someone, a girl a few years older than my daughter. She's where I wild, on the edge, out of control. I see the old me in her, the me who tried to outrun the shame, the pain, the hate. But I also see the girl who is itchy to be free...who craves an easier happier life. My goal - help her see the real her, just below the surface, the gift she really is. 
Grateful for....

-freedom - it's for everyone not just a select few. 
-the past - gave me firsthand insight to help someone else make it. 
-people who stepped into my world and helped me realize the opposite of everything I knew. Their kindness softened the rough edges and made a huge impact. 
-Mostly that He was there, in the dark places, and the scary ones, never giving up on me when so many others did. He hung in, stayed the course, until I was ready, and even today....He's still there, running the course with best friend, a constant, an anchor to hold onto. 

Happy Thursday, Guys.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Thankful Thursday - Journey

"Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination." Drake
I've come to realize that the road to getting from one place to another is where the best in life really happens.  
I like having goals. For me, they're set points to aim for. To focus on. To run towards. Goals are great to have, but I think now the best is not having arrived. The best are the incredible lessons gleaned along the way.  Looking back I can see where those lessons, some of them tough, some amazing, are what made the journey great.
It's the start of 2015 and I got some goals I'm aiming for. But I'm more excited about the journey knowing cool adventures will take place to achieve them. Thankful for......
-life and that it's full of adventure. Makes me wake up every morning with incredible expectancy.
-living in a safe country where I have rights to speak my mind, and work towards whatever I desire. So many people, especially women don't have any rights at all.
-education. I love learning and there's so many opportunities to learn new things. 
-Mostly that He gives dreams, then makes them happen. I am amazed at the dreams He put in my heart the past couple of years and took me on some incredible journeys to realizing them. 

Happy Thursday, Guys.

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Thankful Thursday - Beginning

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”  Mark Twain

Day one - 2015. A new year. Another beginning. A fresh start. I feel this anticipation in my gut and an expectancy that the year holds some incredible things. Can't wait to find out what they are. 

I love beginnings. It doesn't matter what happened before, good or bad, it's all done, finished....over. Everything is new. Everything is beginning again. New goals. Clean slate. And I'm ready. Everything in me is shouting, "let's go."  Thankful for....

-a great 2014. Looking back, remembering all the things that happened, especially the opportunities to make a difference for others, pumps me to start the new year with even greater purpose. 
-my oldest finishing her first semester of university with great marks and amazing experiences. I am totally proud of her. There was some definite stressful moments but she pulled everything together brillantly. 
-a week away in the south. It was spectacular...the beaches, the friendliness of the people, breathtaking nature. Loved every minute.
-my home. Going away was thrilling. Coming home was comforting. Something about returning home, seeing the familiar, is the best.
-Him. knowing that wherever I am, wherever I go, He's there. Always. He's the pilot, driver, companion, a forever Friend. He frees me to kick fear to the curb, let go and breathe peace. 

Happy New Start, Guys. It's going to be a fantastic year.  

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Thankful Thursday - Helping

“Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.” Vera Nazarian 

I've been helping a friend, an older woman, someone whose been a mentor. She once opened a door, gave me an opportunity to take a stand and share my truth.  

Now the tables have turned. She needs my help, someone to listen, to let her talk, to cry it out. Someone hurt her, hurt her really bad. I'm happy to be there for her, grateful I can repay her kindness. And something interesting has happened - a stronger bond has formed between us. We're becoming tight. 

Life's like that. Sometimes someone helps you out and then it's your turn to give back to them. I think it's what Mafasa in the Lion King would say, it's the circle of life. Grateful for......

-2014. The year's been amazing. Many neat things that have happened this year. Too many to list. 
-Booked to share my story to women living at a halfway house in January. Another opportunity to give back. To know someone's smiling b/c of me, makes me feel ten feet tall. 
-Countdown to celebrating Christmas in a different way than we're used to - warm temps, no snow and cold. Totally excited.  
-Faith. It's made such a huge impact in my life. It totally changed  the way I think and how I move in the world. It's the filter through how I see things, a huge difference than the filter I used to look through. It's what I'm most grateful for. 

Happy Thursday, Guys.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Thankful Thursday - Today

“The beginning is always today.” Mary Shelley

I love mornings. Most days I wake up with an excitement and anticipation that anything and everything can happen. 

The neat thing is, whatever happened yesterday or the day before or the day before that, is done. Over. Today is a new day. And I'm grateful I get to live and experience whatever the day holds. 

There was a time I dreaded the mornings and the daytimes. I wished them away and never wanted to see the sun. But now I think, plans or no plans, the day stretches out and holds incredible promise. Grateful for.....

-snow days. Snow has been falling since last night and it's still coming down. Everything it touches becomes beautiful even the  not so pretty things. 
-this Christmas will be different. We're celebrating at the beach with sun and warmth and sand. No snow.
-my books have been selling for the holidays. Still amazes me that anyone still wants them. 
-mostly that He makes every day magical. 

Happy Thursday, Guys.