Charlotte and Ginger host these awesome Spiritual Sunday.To join in post and add your name.

Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the year - and  when it speaks, its voice has strong authority. - W.J. Cameron

Countedown to Christmas....two weeks left and already I can  feel something magical in the air. 

I was at Costco the other day...the cashier smiled and said...I'm not allowed to say this, but oh heck...I want to...Merry Christmas.  Her face shone. Her smile stretched across her face. She needed to say those words...to express the joy bubbling inside her. And I loved hearing them. But as I left...I thought of what she had said first...I'm not allowed to say..

I couldn't stop thinking about that.  Why was she told not to say Merry Christmas? Why couldn't she express her heart....her joy? Why wasn't she allowed to express the truth of the holiday? He is the reason we celebrate Christmas. He's what this holiday is all about. Without Him...there is no Christmas. God's gift...that gives hope...freedom...peace. Why was she told not to say the words? 

Maybe it's where I come from....of what happened to me....and how He alone made a difference....reaching so far down to pull me up....but as Christmas is getting closer..I feel like that cashier....I want to shout Merry Christmas to everyone. 
 
And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong...the rich and the poor ones....

Spiritual Sunday "Set the World on Fire".

Charlotte and Ginger host these awesome Spiritual Sundays. To join in, post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

There's this deep need I feel...a yearning...an ache that's so strong....to do something to make a difference in  the world. God's given me so much...more than I could have ever imagined possible. Everything in me hungers to give back....to shine His love.....to tell about His gentle touch that made all the difference. 

I feel this deep hunger.....for Him to use what I lived....all those horrible things...to give back...to give hope. I don't want what He did...to be a waste - the freedom He's given....the kindness and love He's brought into my life.....the amazing joy and peace He's put in my heart. 

He's become my best friend....a friend whose always there.....in my corner.....believing in me....and pushing me gently forward. I love Him....I really love Him. And because I love Him.....I want to set the world on fire.  

Spiritual Sunday "Jesus Loves You"

Spiritual Sundays are hosted by Charlotte and Ginger. To join in post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

What we are is God's gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God.  ~Eleanor Powell

A local hospital library bought copies of my book to circulate in five sister hospitals. I'm amazed they did because the only thing that worked to break through all the darkness....was the touch of His gentleness and 'amazing grace.'  I put that in my book. I made it clear....nothing else worked....Only Him.   

I'm humbled knowing my story will be made available for others to read and to hopefully find the hope and freedom that I found in Him.

I never meant to write a book. I just needed to get the memories out of my head. As I wrote....it dawned on me...just how far down He went to pull me out.  I owe Him.. I have to tell what He did....how He reached down with a love so great..it got through and freed me. I was ashamed before - not wanting anyone to know those things that happened....so I never told. I kept it all inside. I got an email the other day....Your book came to me as a message of hope. Now I know....I will tell....and keep telling for others to be free.

He accepted you at your worst...and He's proud of who you are....Jesus loves you....He loves you just because......

Spiritual Sunday "Nature".

 Spiritual Sunday is hosted by two awesome women...Charlotte and Ginger. To join in post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

I love being out in nature. All week we've been hanging out in the woods, in the hills and today up north at the beach. Being outside...in His creation...I feel a sense of peace....an exhileration....a contentment that assures me He's got everything under control. If He could put the stars in  place and the sun and the flowers and position all the mountains and trees and water....then He can definitely take care of things in my world.

When I was fighting so hard to survive....there were times professionals got involved and pushed me to take tranqualizers. It will make you feel better...peaceful...contented...free. All it did was add to the pain...The pills created horrible side effects....and a need to take more pills just to not feel...to not think....to live in a state of numb.... 

Then one day....I felt His touch. I heard His whisper. He made the difference. And being outside in His creation...in nature...I experience what no amount of pills or drugs could ever do...I experience real peace....and contentment.....and freedom. I have felt the wind blow...whispering Your name.....How can I say....there is no God......

Spiritual Sunday "Hiding Place"

Charlotte and Ginger host these Spiritual Sundays. To join in post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

Earlier last week....I didn't have the courage to face the world. I couldn't see anyone and even talking was difficult. All I wanted was to retreat...hide...be alone. I didn't feel strong or even worth very much. 

I started wondering why did He allowed all the pain...and the awful lonliness...and I kept having memories of fighting so hard to survive....alone....in the darkness...with little hope.....Why? 

I finally went running  in the woods...and there in the  sanctuary of nature I heard his whisper....I felt the gentle touch of His presence....a reminder of His love.....a reminder that I am never alone....a reminder that He is my hiding place...and that when I am weak.....in Him...I am always strong.

Spiritual Sunday "We Shall Overcome"

Spiritual Sundays is hosted by two awesome people - Charlotte and Ginger. To join in post and ad your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/


He was a man who stood up for what he believed...who hung onto faith....even when it looked as if his hope...his dream would never be realized.....He never let go. He wasn't moved by what he saw....He didn't look at circumstances. No matter how dark it got, and it got pretty dark.....he held onto God. I want that kind of faith...faith to see beyond the physical...faith to hang on and not let go.....To everyone fighting some kind of battle....addiction, cancer, family problems....I want to tell you.....we who believe in Him are on the side of truth...The Bible is right......We shall overcome!

Spiritual Sunday "Making a Difference".

Thank you to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays. To join in...post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com

Sometimes life can be really hard...for the elderly man living alone feeling like no one cares if he lives or dies...for the couple struggling to make ends meet.....for the mentally ill wondering why they live as outcasts and their lives so difficult....for the woman diagnosed with cancer... fearful she won't live to see her children grow up...for men and women and children...all across the globe broken....alone....afraid....living in shame and guilt...some fighting everyday just to eat...or to have some sense of purpose...

I remember those people who reached out to me...they didn't care about their position or power...they simply stopped to take time to reach out and show kindness and compassion. They offered tangible help and support to a person whose life was completely out of control. I remember the bank manager who reached into his pocket and pulled out some bills and handed it to me...and a store owner who let me sleep in the back of his store when it was cold out...and a social worker who told me to call her house and talk to her mother until she got home even though she was advised by her supervisor not to do that. Those people and others made a difference in my life...they cared enough to take time.... 

I want to be one of those people who takes time for others...and to make a difference.. I used to wonder what it meant when I read "He called us to be a peculiar people" but I think it means to shine a light for someone else....There are people dying and it's time to lend a helping hand.....to life...the greatest gift of all..... 

Spiritual Sunday "This Little Light of Mine"

Spiritual Sundays are hosted by two awesome people...Charlotte and Ginger. To join in just post and then add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

"There is not enough darkness in all the world to put out the light of even one small candle." Robert Alden

When I was a kid...I couldn't talk. I was too afraid...I held my breath... too scared to let my guard down...to scared to trust that I wouldn't get hurt.  I withdrew....and lived in a make believe world. One day I invented a friend - a street light.. When I'd drive up to it...it always turned green just for me and when it was red...it was because it wanted me to stay and talk. That traffic light helped me hang on....helped me get through some pretty dark times. Funny thing - I have another Friend who is a Light....He's my best friend....just like that traffic light was - only differnce - He's for real. Now all I want to do is shine this little light of mine....

Spiritual Sunday. "Run to the Darkness"

Thank you Charlotte and Ginger for hosting these awesome Spiritual Sundays. To join in post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

 I don't usually read newspapers or listen to the news....but last week I did. It stunned me to hear about a 16 year old stabbed to death while waiting for the bus after school. Another boy stabbed him over and over in front of other kids. In Mass. a 15 yr. old commited suicide...hung herself... after months of being bullied.... all because she broke off with a boy that angered a group of nine students. And there were more stories..of murders, fatal crashes and arrests of sexual perverts. 

It's easy to become discouraged listening to this. But it also made me think of what God did for me....how He reached so far down to pull me up and out of horrible darkness. I had been beaten, raped, drugged and bent on self-destruction. Nothing worked to free me....to bring me peace....nothing but the power of His gentleness. And I know He can touch anyone...the angry, the addict, the lost, the alcoholic, the vulnerable, the weak, the bullies and even the perverts. Having experienced the touch of His grace....I want to hold out my candle and go Light the world.....


Happy Easter Guys....

Spiritual Sunday "Just As I Am"

I am really grateful to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting these awesome Spiritual Sundays. To join in...post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/
 
For so long I tried to change....to twist msyelf into what others wanted me to be...people telling me that I should be a certain way...act in ways they wanted....be anything other than who I was....professionals demanding I conform to some program...that would make me who they believed would be better...more acceptable.....But all it did was make me angry...frustrated....feeling more lost...more alone....wanting to fight....to push back....Then one day He touched me. He never asked me to change....never insisted I be anything but who I was....He told me to come...to come to Him....just as I am......

Spiritual Sunday "How Long...".

A big thank-you to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays. Want to participate? Post and then add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

I lived in constant pain and shame and fear - always running...always hiding from those who wanted to hurt me. I used to raise my fist in the air, scream at God that He didn't care...and dare Him to kill me....I didn't care. Life was too hard....it was too dark.  I was tired of living the way I was. 

But one day...I was taken to the hospital - I was dying..I heard a voice...'pray in my name.' Pushing away the oxygen, I sat up and whispered  - Jesus. That's all it took. He touched me....He was the key that broke the chains....that set me free....the 14 year drug addiction...gone. Just like that. I had lived as a prodigal for a long time...but He never gave up. He never stopped trying to reach me.....And the amazing thing....what He did for me...He'll do for anyone who  calls on His name. No one has to 'live in darkness and despair.'You think you know the story? You don't know the half of it....

Spiritual Sunday "Deep in Love with You"

Thank you so much Charlotte and Ginger for hosting these Spiritual Sundays. Anyone wanting to jump in....post what's on your heart and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

I love God. I really really love Him. He touched me with amazing gentleness. He broke through the darkness that I lived in. He cut the chains... and freed me. Nothing else was able to do that. He did it with His love....amazing love....love that overwhelmed me so much I just couldn't stay the way I was. I had to change. I had to give in to His love. And it was that love...His love that healed my shame and pain and terror. Now.....I'm deep in love with Him...

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Thankful Thursday

I feel so much gratitude. I've been given so much. Even now when I close my eyes....I can still see the darkness I lived in....the lonliness I felt....the emptiness that drove me crazy. I never imagined then my life could be so full....Today I am totally thankful for;


1. The gift of Salvation. Without Him....I wouldn't even be here. 
2. The gift of His love - His gentleness has helped me overcome so much....
3 The gift of His friendship....His reaching out to me...has helped me connect with some of the best people on the planet....you guys, my family and friends.
4. The gift of His presence ....He has helped me find my voice in writing and that has helped me connect with myself, others and the world around me.
5. The gift of belonging...His acceptance opened so many doors for me to belong to family, friends and my community.

Spiritual Sunday

Charlotte and Ginger host these awesome Spiritual Sundays. Join in by posting and then adding your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

I used to be really afraid of people in authority. Growing up physcially and emotionally abused by both my parents, and later forced to do things I didnt' want by 'professionals' who tried to control what I did left me feeling those in authority were to be feared. When God touched me, freed me.....He showed me things I never knew.....gentleness, patience, kindness... He taught me to trust and to have confidence in coming to Him. He's become my best friend.....

Spiritual Sunday - "His Arms are Open"

Thank you Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sundays. To join in post and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

I think God's got some really neat angels working for Him....like that cop who reached out to me and that social worker and the owners of the shop who let me sleep in the back of their store on really cold days...and the guy working in the kitchen who always gave me food packages....Even when things got really dark - God was there providing through the kindness of those people and others like them. 

I didn't know then what I know now....that His arms were always open...always ready to heal my hurts and clean me up.  I still don't know how He did that but He did. Now I love Him. I really really love Him. And  I want to be like those people who reached out to me when I had nothing to give back. And because He reached down, really far down to pull me out....I want to shine His light for others and tell them.....His arms are always open.

Spiritual Sunday "Jesus Loves You."

I love these Spiritual Sundays. Charlotte and Ginger - you guys are the best for hosting this. Want to join in? Post and add your name at  http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/


What made the difference in my life....what touched me in a way nothing else could...what finally changed  me......turned my life around....freed me from the darkness...was the touch of His amazing love. He freed me...broke the chains - reached so far down to pull me out. And even when I couldn't accept His love...He stayed....He waited until I was ready...He overlooked my wild out of control destructive behaviour. He never gave up on me....never turned away.  When I shook my fist in the air daring Him to kill me..He waited...He stayed....until I was ready. He accepted me at my worst...and loved me just because....

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday is hosted by Sonya Lee. To join post five things you're thankful for and then add your name at http://truth4thejourney.blogspot.com/

I'm thankful for:
-God's love that never lets go...never gives up....and never changes.
-God's mercy that loves me in spite of who I am, what I do...or what I don't do. 
-God's grace that shines in those areas of my life where I fall short...where I think I don't measure up...and where I can't manage on my own. 
-God's goodness that provides so much 'stuff'...more than I need....more than I ever had.
-God's forgiveness that makes my heart sing....that fills me with hope...that gives me peace and amazing joy.

Spiritual Sunday "Turn Your Eyes."

I'm so thankful to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting these Spiritual Sundays. To join, post and then add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/


In light of what happened in Haiti; in light of so many disasters...so many heartaches......

And remembering that day I sat alone in a small apartment trying to shoot up..I dropped the match by accident and within seconds the couch I was sitting on became engulfed in flames. It quickly spread to the door. I crouched down on the floor, coughing and choking from the smoke and listening to the sound of things cracking and popping from the intense heat. I didn't try to get out. I just sat there...the fire burning everything...and then I heard a voice very clearly say,  We know and Sarah knows...so burn baby burn.  I kept trying to reason with that voice....what do I know? But all it kept saying was, We know and Sarah knows so burn baby burn.  

Maybe I was hallucinating....I'm not sure.. But one thing I do know now for sure...Jesus is the Christ, the son of God, the Messiah, the Saviour, the One who died for all sin...the One who has power to heal and the One who sets captives free. He is the answer when there is none. He is the solution...Today...I just want...I just need to turn my eyes on Him.

Spiritual Sunday "Give it Away".

Thanks to Charlotte and Ginger for hosting Spiritual Sunday. To participate post what's on your heart and add your name at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/





I still don't know how He did what nothing else could. Nothing else had worked. Somehow.....He broke the chains...set me free...gave me hope....gave me life.....taught me to trust. Somehow His love touched me...changed me.  Now.....more than anything - I want to give back. I want to show the power of His love....and help others see and feel and know..... the power of His Gentleness.

Spiritual Sunday. "Don't Ever Give Up"

Thank you Chalotte and Ginger for hosting these Spiritual Sundays. I really appreciate posting and reading the other blogs. To participate

post and then add your name at. http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/

Christmas day my girls and I helped out all day serving people who had no one to share the day with.  I heard so many stories from people struggling with illness, loss, lonliness....Even reading some blogs...reading about some of you guys going through some tough stuff.. I wanted to encourage you.  When I was on the streets, shooting dope, throwing up, kidnapped, trapped, raped....not believing anyone cared....someone came along and told me...don't you ever give up. I wanted to. I really did. I wanted to give in to the darkness, to the hatred...but He wouldn't let me. So today, I just want to encourage those of you who are struggling to hang on....He sees - He knows....And He'll take you through.