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"You can have the other words-chance, luck, coincidence, serendipity. I'll take grace. I don't know what it is exactly, but I'll take it. " Mary Oliver
While I was writing my book, In the Eye of Deception....there were times I wanted to get in my car...close my eyes...and drive. It hurt so much to remember. At one point I wanted to find the rapist's family...to know who raised such a brutal man. I googled their last name and found these singers with the same name. And this particular song "happened" to come up. I had never heard of them or the song. Although it's not usually my type of music.....I was pulled into listening to it over and over and over. The words held me.
I started running in the hills near our house....in the heat...in the rain...all hours of the day and late into the evenings...trying to outrun the memories and pain. I wanted to know why He allowed it to happen. Why He didn't help me earlier...before things had gotten so bad.
The more I listened to the song...the more I spent time alone with Him in the hills....something started to happen. The words slipped into my heart and I slowly I began to realize....it wasn't His fault what happened. And in His presence...it didn't even matter anymore. In His presence.....the pain began to lift...and also the shame....and fear. In His presence..I finally found what I needed ever since it happened...peace...hope...freedom.
...and when I come into His presence....all my questions become clear....In the presence of Jehovah....