Saturday, October 30, 2010

Spiritual Sunday "Give it Away"

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"If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it." . Mother Thersa

I watched this movie...an older one...."The Chosen." It's about a teenager growing up in a Hassidic (religious) Jewish home. He meets a friend who is also Jewish but not being raised in the same strict upbringing. 

The part of the movie that impacted me....the Hassidic's boy's father never spoke to him.....never told him he was proud of him...never even said he loved him. The boy had become used to that. But then he went to his new friend's home and witnessed the love and comraderie between father and son. He went home and demanded his father tell him why he never talked to him....why he disliked him so much.

The father's answer  - 'I thought being tough with you....being hard....not expressing affection......would make a man out of you.' And then the father said....that he was always proud of him.....of his accomplishements and of who  he was as a person.  

What's sad....he had never told the boy that. The boy had just assumed the opposite.  Not sharing his love created hurt and anger and resentent in the boy.  And worse...it made the boy believe there was something wrong with him for his own father to not care.....

In our home...in our family.....there isn't a day that goes by that we don't say we love you to each other.  I never want to withhold love.....because I've learned.....

Love isn't love until you give it away..... 

36 comments:

Denise said...

Amen, beautifully said sis.

Carolyn said...

Ahhh, that was beautiful, Sarah! I agree with you 100%!! I tell my daughters over and over and over again I LOVE them!!! My mother was from a different generation and heartfelt emotions were held back more than what I like...I knew she loved me but she did not say it near enough!! BUT her 6 children, having our families, are very very expressive of our love as a result! Love and hugs are to be given freely and OFTEN to those we love! :D

Here is a great big HUG to you, Sarah!! :) Have a great weekend!

HUGS, Carolyn ~ Cottage Sunshine

Dianne said...

Beautiful! Keep telling those precious kids that you love them--keep demonstrating that love--Michael W. Smith is one of my favorites and the song is exactly right--"It isn't love until we give it away." Great post, dear Sarah.

Loving you,
Dianne

Finally Free said...

Sarah,
Thanks for the reminder. It is all about receiving His love and letting it flow through us.

Blessings,
Tammy

Whidbey Woman said...

So often we assume people know how we feel, without telling them. Communication is everything! We need to continually tell them and show them just how much they mean to us. Thanks for this reminder.

Just Be Real said...

Beautiful Sarah. Appreciate the post. Blessings.

Virginia said...

Wonderful post Sarah.
Thanks for sharing.
Much Blessings,
Virginia

Ruth said...

beautiful reminder... to show let known our love for one another. Beautiful song.. one of my favourites of MWS.

Blessings,
Ruth

Sandi@ Rose Chintz Cottage said...

I couldn't agree with you more, Sarah! Love isn't love until it's given away! While my boys were growing up, they were told every day of their lives that they were loved. I believe that is why we're all so close today. Thank you for a great message and have a blessed weekend in Him.

Blessings,
Sandi

Wanda's Wings said...

I can never remember even once being told by my parent they loved me. So from the time my children were infants I told them daily how much I loved them. That is one thing Chris told me was he always felt loved. In his short life I'm glad I had that gift to give him. I still tell my daughter how much I love her. Being loved is a gift from God. Saying the words are so important and make a lasting impression.

Susy said...

A great reminder to say and show love every chance we get. Blessings to you. xo

Dolores Ayotte said...

A wonderful and touching post Nikki...and how true! "Love isn't love until we give it away." Hugs. D :)

Ginny said...

I saw that movie quite a few years ago and loved it!! Wasn't it Robbie Benson who starred in it?

Barbara said...

That is really beautiful, and such a true message too, hugs my friend have a great fall.

Charlotte said...

It is so sad that so many people grow up with no one affirming them. We should not assume that people know how we feel about them, because they might just not "get it." Thank you for sharing this important subject.
Blessings,
Charlotte

Crystal Mary said...

Hello Sarah, Yes love needs to be voiced and diplayed..So sad that a father should not give out to his children. My first husband and father of my four children gave the love to the boys and hardly showed any to the girls..we had to win his love by what we did. It was conditional.. The song was great to listen to also...life is about sacrifice, loving and forgiving. God bless your day. CML xx

Dee said...

Words of wisdom my friend.

Saleslady371 said...

My mom ruled the roost and convinced my dad that we kids would get "big heads" if told anything complimentary, so I know how it feels to want parental approval. However, my kids get a lot of it!

Renee said...

In our family love is expressed verbally often..hugs and kisses abound. It is so important to not only know but feel we are loved!!! Beautiful post, Sarah.
Thanks for coming by my blog...Gracia's second book is very special to me..I read it more than once a year and pick it up when I am discouraged. We lived in the Philippines for two years and two of our children are adopted from there so her first book intrigued me....the second inspired me! God bless.

Haelie said...

Amen, Sarah!

Lisa notes... said...

I haven’t seen the movie, but I did read the book and want my daughter to read it as well. It made an impression on me. Yes, keep saying I love you every day!

Annesphamily said...

My parents always said "I love you" so I just have continued the process as well as my sweets. He grew up on it too. Love to you and the family today and always! Anne

Amanda said...

The spoken word is so powerful, for good and for bad. What a grave error the father made, thinking that withholding love and words of love, would make a man out of his son. Sadly, many men are damaged as boys because of this deception.

Praise God we have a Father Who doesn't withhold the love we need and Who has given us His Word, that we may know exactly how much He loves us, because He speaks love to us all the way through the Bible.

Cathy said...

Thanks for that great post, Dear. I enjoyed the video too.

leavesnbloom said...

We've brought up our family letting them know continually how much we love them - what a very moving story about that boy and his father.

Cindy Adkins said...

This is a tremendous movie...But, the powerful part is WHY the father did it...He did it so the boy would be humble because the boy was smart but did not have compassion for others...

No doubt, it was so harsh it was beyond belief. Chaim Potok's books are all so good...I read 2 other ones this year and he is a great writer.

And you are right--we all need love!! And should raise our children with it and make them feel loved--that is the basis of life!
XO

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

Your last words hit me in the face. I love you, my dearest Sarah! I sincerely do. Kisses.

Lisa said...

That is so true, Sarah! And blessed your family is that you express your love to one another. You would be surprised at how many don't. Thanks for a great post!

Janis@Open My Ears Lord said...

Sarah, Such a powerful post about the importance of saying, "I love you" to our spouse and children everyday. That is what truly makes us the person God intended us to be.
Enjoyed the song~love Michael W Smith.
Thanks for the reminder today.

Blessings,
Janis

Donnie said...

This was a lovely post. Your song and words were so meaningful. Have a blessed day.

Kaye - SandwichINK for the Sandwich Generation said...

Excellent points Sarah, and so vital. I remember reading an article that suggested saying "I love you" regularly when I was 20 and with a one year old. Our family had never really done that. I remember how shocked my dad was when I started it but after a few years he got REALLY good at it :) And what blessings it's been over the years. Thanks for the good points and reminding me of these sweet family memories!

Jeanne said...

Sarah, showing and giving love verbally is so important to children and adults. Feeling secure and safe comes from shared love and approval. I so agree with you.
Blessings, Jeanne

Aliene said...

Such a good post on three little words "I love you." Such powerful words. I never remember my Mom saying those words, yet I knew she loved me.
We made sure our kids and grand children all know we love them because we voice it. And mean it!

myletterstoemily said...

that's such a powerful story of the importance
of showing and saying "love."

my best friend speaks fluent hebrew which amazes
me. she's reading isaiah in HEBREW. you mentioned
you grew up jewish.

blessings,
lea

Amrita said...

Waht a post, love it!. I want to see this movie too.

Chatty Crone said...

We never let a day go by without saying it either. sandie